Of My Little Girl

Hooo.. It’s been quite a while since I last blogged. With so many things happening in my life now, blogging is the last thing I want to do.

I had wanted to close down this blog so that I don’t feel the burden of responsibilities if I don’t update. But then again, there’s so much in this blog that I couldn’t bear to delete away. So much of the past 4-5 years of my life.

So, after a hiatus of 2 months, I shall dedicate this entry to Tara, my precious little girl.

Tara will be 5 years old in 5 months time, so now, technically speaking, she’s still 4 and a half, although she will vehemently protest when I said that and push her five tiny fingers into my face and exclaimed loudly, “NO! I’m 5!!”

I looked through her younger photos and was amazed by the difference in her looks from a year ago, and a year before that. Even a year ago, she still have that babyish look. But one year on, she suddenly became a little miss (to me, that’s very sudden).

I know she’s a little girl through and through because:

1) She only likes wearing dresses and skirts, even to places where we have rough play. I don’t want her undies to show, but she couldn’t care much. No pretty dresses, no chance we can step out of the house.

2) I wear lip gloss, she wants it too. So I bought her something close to a lip gloss. Lip balm. And she will use it EVERYDAY before we drop her off at school. If I accidentally cleaned it off with tissue while I’m wiping off her snot. She will scream. No joke.

3) I wear nail polishes, she wears clear varnishes. I really don’t want her to go to school with pink nails. But somehow, I have to give in to her whiny cries.

4) PINK, PINK, PINK. She’s overloaded with pink stuff. Pink water bottles, pink school bags, pink EZlink card holder, pink Crocs, pink PJs. Okay, I may love pink myself. But then, this girl was way overkill with her top to toe pink stuff.

5) Cannot cut her hair short, no matter how messy it is, because she wants to tie a cute ponytail when she goes to school everyday.

6) Finally, her whiny voice when she wants something. It’s the kind of voice that irritates you to hell if you are not in a good mood. Or melts your heart to molten when you are in a happier mood. “MUMmmmmmmmyyyyy~~~~”, plus her big doe eyes. And she gets her way sometimes. Or most times I guess.

Because of school and her grandparents, she’s effectively bilingual now. She has no problems speaking in mandarin and english. Now, she speaks either mandarin OR english and makes us all do the same. If you don’t, she will go “Mummy, if you want to speak English, you speak English, if you want to speak Chinese, you speak Chinese. Don’t speak both together okay?” Well, that was what I told her some time back, and she remembers. But darling, Mummy got problems translating some Chinese to English, mah.

No singlish allowed too. No lar-s, no lor-s. If not, “I will send you to ‘lor’ island, if you say lor again”, she says.

Up until now, she attends a single enrichment class a week. Phonics at Zoophonics. She’s been attending this class for the past 1 year. Done with all the single letter sounds and moving on to blending. But Daddy wants to switch her to “I Can Read” so now I’m checking which branch has a better environment. She used to attend Speech and Drama and Lorna Whiston but we pulled her out after a few months, reason? Don’t really like it.

I wanted to enrol her in one more class, but something that she really interested in. She loves dancing to fast beat music, art and craft and going to swimming complexes. So I guess it’s either hip hop, craft or swimming classes. Yet to decide because I didn’t want to tire her out. But she told me she wants to learn everything. Whoa. Even got the money must also have the time right?

Her favourite food. Mostly carbos. Noodles, dumplings, buns, bread. Love fruits too, especially strawberries. For a while, she steered away from green veges because her friends doing the same. Peer pressure, I guess. Then one day, she woke up from her evening nap while we having zi char outside and with a chop stick, finished up like 10 pcs of Kai Lan in top speed. So now, she’s taking more vege. And only the green ones.

I’m more relaxed on her junk food intake already. But then, I still try not to give as much, if I can help it.

Okay, enough of updates. Now, a photo of her, taken just days ago.

 

A new beginning

Today marks a new beginning in my life. It takes me quite a while to make this decision. People question my reason for doing it, but who really understands why I did it.

What seems nice on the surface, is actually turbulent underneath. A time bomb waiting to explode, and it finally did.

Am I going to regret this decision?

At the BIG Jurong Point with Tara

I admit I spent less time with Tara when my in-laws are around. The only excuse I give is these are the times can catch up on my own stuff. After being out for almost one whole week, I decided that I shall dedicate one afternoon to my little precious.

I brought her to Jurong Point last Saturday! Okay, for selfish reasons, I wanted to check out the newly opened extension of Jurong Point too. So we went to a shopping mall rather than places like zoo or park.

I parked in their super big carpark at the new extension. Gone are the worries of full carpark. Jurong Point is always darn crowded. But now there are 1,500 lots.

We stepped into the new extension and my jaw dropped. Then my heart pounded. After that I broke into a huge grin. It’s SO BIG! There are SO MANY SHOPS! Clothes and shoes especially. And I saw quite a few of my favourites. Mphosis, Bakerzin, Din Tai Feng, Pretty Fit, Faceshop etc. Now I don’t need to go to town for shopping!

Jules finally got her shops in Jurong Point, after telling me and Wendy for years. Her Freshbox is her baby. The JP one is one of her many outlets peppered all over Singapore. And her newly conceived concept, Camouflage! Clothes for kiddos. She told me she wanted to open a shop for kiddo’s clothes about a year ago and she finally did it. I went in the other day, and saw Old Navy style clothings for boys. Not much choices for girls though, but she said stock for girls will be in before CNY. Okay babe, will shop there for Tara’s CNY clothes. Must support friend lor. Proud of this woman lar. She’s the budding entrepreneur with Freshbox (Clothes for men), Mitju (Ladies shoes) and now Camouflage under her name. She has a couple of other shops too, but these are the bigger ones. Whenever I see this woman in one of her shops, her first opening sentence “Eh! Why you never call me??”. Babe, you can call me too you know? And her ending sentence is always, “Let’s come out for dinner someday leh! Ask Wendy along?”. Babe, I think you are the super busy one right? How to have dinner when you don’t have time? This woman.

Tara and I went up to 3rd level of the new JP and saw one craft shop. I don’t know what you call this type of craft. I’ve seen them all over the place and wanted to let Tara try, just waiting for her to be big enough not to make a mess. So we finally went in that day. She wanted to do a multi colour house.

Nowadays, she’s always bugging me to bring her back again. She wanted to do a Powerpuff one. Okay baby, Mummy is also aiming to do a butterfly one. Pink of course!

Then we went to Bakerzin. I had wanted to have my dose of my favourite Strawberry Shortcake (that explains my excitement at seeing this restaurant), but sadly, they don’t have it that day. So I just let Tara enjoyed her cheesecake while I look on.

The feeling of seeing my little girl enjoying her food is indescribable.

My little girly girl.

She must be really happy to have Mummy to herself for the whole afternoon because she was so well-behaved. She let me shop in peace, never for once bugging me to leave the mall. We even went to the library, since it was just beside. And I paid $30 over worth of fines. It’s crazy but I just forgot to return the 12 books I borrowed for Tara some time back. I think they were overdue by many weeks. Madness! I can buy so many things with that! Must be really conscious of the due date from now onwards.

A well spent one lazy afternoon in the mall with Tara.

Oh ya, the well-behaved part stopped when we were driving out of the mall. She started mumbling, then grumbling and finally broke into a full crying episode when we stepped out from the lift to our apartment. *Faint*.

I will be back in JP another day. By myself. At my own pace. On one day’s leave maybe. And really check out the shops inside this mega mall, one by one. Excitement.

Parent-Teacher Meetings

* Back-dated post: Found this long draft today. I wonder why I didn’t post this up? I wrote this end of last year, when Tara was about to progress from Playgroup to Nursery.

 

I’m not sure if other day care hold as many meetings as this one. Yesterday, I attended the fourth parents-teachers meeting. I’m not complaining though. I wish to be as involved as possible, and I’m really glad that the school’s holding these meetings to keep the parents up to date on their kids.

Let me see, the first meeting I went to, Tara was only in school for 3 months. As newbies, they got a lot to adapt to, and the teachers gave us updates of how the little ones are getting on and how they have adapted to the new environment.

The second meeting, we (Bob and I) were involved in the activities that the kids do day to day. We sang with them the songs they learned, did art and craft together. I ate an egg sandwich made by my little girl and she even served us milo! At that time, my heart was just bursting with pride, and I was so touched I almost tear. That was 6 months since she attended school.

The 3rd meeting, was the first time that we did a one-to-one. Not like the group meetings before, this one was just us with the teachers. The teachers spoke at length about about Tara. Their observations about her and such. How has she grown, the vast improvement in her languange, how she interact socially. I even know how well she slept during breaks! I was able to ask a lot of questions and it was really a productive meeting for me.

And this 4th meeting, held just last night, was a whole different one. Tara has been attending daycare for 11 months already (God! Time flies!) and she will be advancing to Nursery next year. This meeting was an introduction to her Nursery teachers (different set of teachers for each level). There will be 55 children in Nursery next year, but there are 6 teachers and 1 auntie taking care of the whole brood. 4 English teachers and 2 Chinese teachers. The English teacher touched on the program they will be teaching next year. What kind of approach they will be applying. How the kids will benefit. And how the parents can play a part in further reinforcing the teachings.

During the whole briefing by 2 of the teachers, I was nodding my head so much I’m surprised I didn’t sprain my neck. I’m so glad (I think I said that before), that I managed to find a school which is totally in tune with my beliefs and expectations.

Basically, next year’s program will still be adpoting a thematic approach, but it won’t be structured, like it was in playgroup. The teachers will see how the children will react to a particular subject or theme before they map out what they will teach the next class or next term. Instead of telling the kids what something is, for example, an ant. They don’t say, this is an ant, it has how many legs, simply throwing facts at the kids not knowing if they absorb anything. The Creative teaches will instead, guide the kids through their thinking process, and kids at this imaginative stage, will spurn out lots of funny and interesting thinking. For example, the ant. The teacher will ask, what do you think this is? Where do you think it’s going? Where does it come from? Do you think the ant has a home? Where do you think it’s home is? Through these, the teachers will spark the kids’ interest in the ant and whatever the teachers will tell them later, they will absorb with relish. The K1 students actually managed to write a book about a monkey. Imagine that!

The teachers heard about this monkey which somehow ended up in the Creative grounds, they grouped the kids together and wanted to bring them to see the monkey, but the monkey was caught and sent away before the kids laid eyes on it. They were so interested in the monkey and the teachers, through the who, what, where, when and how, guide them into writing a story about this monkey they didn’t see.

This is what I usually do with Tara. I read from somewhere that parents should always put the kids in a thinking process and ask them back the same question they ask you. For a kid who always get answers straightaway, they lose the opportunity of thinking and they also lose the interest in that object, thus losing the chance to learn more about that object.

And at Nursery level, the teachers concern is not on how many words the kids can learn at the end of the year, how well they can write and read, how pretty their drawings are or how nice they can do their colouring. Their concerns are more on building the kids’ character (something that I’ve been emphasizing on from the day I gave birth to Tara), their social interaction skills, and self help skills.

The Chinese teacher said something which I agreed totally, she said most people will say, don’t lose at the starting point. But to her, it’s no big deal losing at the starting point, education is a long road, what matter most is you win at the finishing point. She actually is saying, don’t be kiasu and make your kids learn a lot of things they are not ready for.

Claiming her “inheritance”

Last night, I was working on my scrapbook stuff at the dining table. My 4 year old walked up to me, looked at my scrapbook trolley, picked out a bottle and ask:

Tara: Mummy, 这个是什么？

Mummy: Tara, 不要吵 Mummy.

Tara (picked out another bottle and ask): 这个呢？

Mummy: 不要动我的东西，可以吗？

Then she did a sweeping motion over my trolley and said,

Tara: Mummy, 以后你老了，这些东西都是我的。

Then she walked to the TV console, did the same sweeping motion and said,

Tara: 这些东西也全部是我的!

Amused, but very disturbed, I said to her:

Mummy: 哎, 我还没有老，你这么快就分财产了啊！！

I wonder who taught her that?? Is it too much TV drama? I really want to know where she learn that from. Even though it’s really funny at the time she said that, but it disturbed me greatly. I’ve always been really cautious in telling my girl the right things because I want her to grow up with the right values.

No matter how true it is, some things are better left said when she’s much older and can understand better. Claiming her “inheritance” now is way, way, way too early!!

Junk Food. Control Freak.

Over the years, I’ve been getting “well-meaning” advises whenever the topic touches on junk food. I don’t give Tara junk food. For the first 3 years of her life, she only gets an average of 2 sweets, one pototo crisp and maybe a few sticks of chocolate sticks a year. Ice cream is only max. 3 spoons in her 2nd year and processed food like sausages, french fries and ham are absolutely no-no to me. 

I have people questioning my reasons for controlling her intake of these food. I told them it’s not healthy and doesn’t contribute to Tara’s growth, so why would I want to feed stuff with nothing but tons of colouring, salt and sugar? I told them when she grows up, she will get her hands on these on her own so I just want to keep the first few years of her life healthy. Instead of all these junk, I gave her healthier versions of biscuits and fruits whenever she felt peckish. 

I won’t say Tara won’t ask for these junk completely. But she knows that she can’t take a lot of those so she’s contented whenever I gave her only one or two pieces to nibble on. Sometimes she can even tell me she don’t want these junk cos it’s not healthy. And I’m glad that I don’t have to handle her demands for junk food when we go out.

Okay, I’m a junkie too and I do love junk food. So it’s very contradicting for me to be such a control freak over Tara. But if I can keep her first few years healthy, why not? I know the day I give her pocket money, is the day the world of junk food will open up to her. But since now I can still control what she eat, I will of course do so. And it’s true that these junk food are nothing but health hazards, so why would I want to feed them to my precious baby?

What irked me most is the constant debates that I have to go through whenever topic on this comes up. I don’t know why I have to justify and defend my actions time and time again. I don’t understand why it seems like a must that kids take such stuff. I don’t even know why people tell me it’s a kid’s privilege. I think they didn’t read the nutrition table on the side of the package, neither did they know about the studies done on the effect of children taking junk food.

And one important fact that these people do not notice is, it’s MY kid they are talking about. So it’s MY decisions on what she puts in her mouth for now. 

I asked a colleague last night why I should give Tara junk food. She told me it will make her happy. I guess she said that because she has never seen Tara enjoying her bowl of fresh fruits. She don’t look unhappy to me. And she finishes her bowl of fruits with relish. A healthy bowl of fruits as compared to a lollipop. You tell me. Which is better?

Okay, before anyone thinks that my kid hasn’t tasted any of those junk before. She has okay? She knows the taste of the Calbee Barbecue Potato Chips, the Cornetto ice-cream cones and whatoever that other parents are feeding their children. But there’s still a limit to everything and I will never overload her with these unhealthy stuff. I will still choose a plate of spaghetti to a hamburger, a piece of butter cookie over a pototo chip or a glass of freshly squeezed fruit juice over a can of coke. To me, there’s a healthier choice to every food and for the best interest of my baby, I will still make the better choice. Unless circumstances arises okay?

I will try my best not to give my two cents worth when someone else feed their own kid junk, so please, stop telling me why I should give mine junk.

Unless someone can tell me the healthy benefits of these junk food, then I might change my mind. So, the next time, before you offer any chocolate sticks or sweets to my kid, please consider the feelings of a well-meaning parent (me lar!) okay? And try not to fault me for keeping my kid healthy.

Whoa, been meaning to blog on this topic for ages! Glad it’s out of my system now.

Our car rides convo

When Bob travels, the task of sending Tara to day care will be mine. There are days when we will have really interesting conversation in the car, and it never fails to surprise me the things that is going inside the little kid’s head. I wonder who has been telling my little girl all the sad but sometimes true facts about life.

Who will take care of me?

Had this conversation with the little one this morning, when I was sending her to day care:

Tara: Mummy, 以后我老了，谁照顾我？

Mummy: 那要看你以后有没有结婚了。 如果你结婚了，就会有孩子。你老了，孩子长大了，就会照顾你了。不过如果你没有孩子，就只好努力做工赚钱，老了就有钱养自己了。

Tara: 我的 piggy bank 很多钱。不过我的孩子会拿掉我的钱。我就没钱了。

Mummy (surprised at her statement): 为什么你会这么说呢？

We didn’t finish this conversation, the little girl just trailed her thoughts and babbled about something else.

I want to get married

My brother got married in November. He’s the last one in our family to get hitched, so naturally, we were all excited about it and were always talking about his wedding. So one day, just a week before my brother’s big day, Tara said this to me:

Tara (in her whiny voice) : Mummy, 我要结婚。

I can’t believed she said that, so I ask her again what was it she said.

Tara: 我要结婚。

I didn’t expect that she will say this, so naturally, I wasn’t prepared to give her a proper explanation.

Mummy: 结婚是大人的事， 跟你这个小孩子有什么关系？

Tara: 我没有结过婚。我要结婚。

Mummy: 好阿。等你长大了，有一个你喜欢的男孩子，你就可以结婚了。

At this point, I started to laugh, because I really didn’t expect to have this conversation with a soon to be 4 year old.

Tara: 谁？我可以找谁？

Mummy: 我不知道谁阿。等你长大了，自然会找到一个你喜欢的男孩子了。

Tara: 那我找 gor gor.

Mummy: 哪一个 gor gor.

Tara: 我找 Junxi gor gor.

Mummy (!!): 不可以啦。他是你的表哥 (my sis’ son)。不可以跟他结婚的，好不好。

Tara (repeating the same qtn): 我可以找谁？

Mummy (amused): 等你长大了，自然会有一个了，好吗？不过一定要是一个对你很好的男孩子，好吗？

Tara sat back, folded her arms and pout. And I”m so glad the conversation is over.

Mobile Scrapping

I’m getting lesser and lesser space in the house now. The house used to have only 2 of us, then Tara came along, 3 of us. It’s still a big enough house for 3, then my PILs came often, and stayed with us, after that my BIL came to Singapore to work and now there are 4 adults and 1 kid in a small 5 room apartment most of the time.

I still have 2 space to hide before my BIL came to live with us. My study, where all my scrapbook stuff are, and my bedroom. I love my scrap space, even though it’s only one half of a bedroom space, but all my pretty scrapbook stuff are inside and when I get the chance, I will hid inside for hours of therapeutic scrapping.

But now, my BIL’s Mac took up the other half of my workspace, and he’s in front of his Mac most time of the night. So I’m forced to find another space if I need to do my scrapping stuff.

The next better location with big table?

My dining table.

But one major problem is getting my stuff out of the study room to my dining table. Quite some items to take each time.

I know I need a trolley. So I went to Ikea and bought one. I even got some containers and holder from the Kitchen Dept for my trolley.

I assembled it weeks after I’d bought it and TA DA!

Though it’s not big, it’s good enough to hold all the essential stuff I use for my projects. I pushed it out to the dining room when I did Bro’s ROM album and I think I’m weird, because I actually felt ecstatic when I’m pushing the trolley.

Yeah, I’m a happy woman..

Tara’s 4th Birthday

This year I was pretty slack in the preparations. Usually one month before the big day, I would pretty much already decided what I want to do but this year, two weeks prior to the big day, did I actually ask what Tara wanted for her parties.

She told me she wanted cupcakes, same like last year, but this time, she wanted Strawberry Shortcake. So I thought, might as well make this a theme for both her parties.

I went several places to get the things I want. Thank heavens for internet, I managed to order much of the stuff online. But I still have to go to 3 other places to get the rest of the items.

Home party. Held on Sunday, 9th Nov.

As usual. Adding a personal touch.

Candle from Ebay.

Mylar Balloons also from Ebay

Distributing her cakes.

Posing with her presents.

Her favourite gift. She chose it herself.

Goodie bag for the girls..

The items..

For the boys..

I’ve tried my best to get interesting stuff for the boys. So much easier to get for the girls.

Quite a lot of glitches on the day itself. I had worked on my bro’s ROM album till 5am the night before, couldn’t wake up in time to decor the house properly so I did a fast one. When it’s time to leave the house to pick up all the party food and cake, my newly acquired Ikea cabinet spoilt and I couldn’t get my clothes out from it. Then when I finally thought I’m ready to leave, I realised I deleted the email from Cupcake Momma, with the collection pick up address and the contact no. Usually I will write it down in my note book on info like this but I didn’t do it this time. I had to use my mobile to send an urgent email to them, praying and hoping they will read my email.

Fortunately, they did managed to get my urgent email but plans already delayed. Party started at 1pm and I left the house to get the cake at 1.10pm. On our way back from picking up the cake, I realised I had not sent the mylar balloons to get filled with helium. When I reach home, it was already over 2pm. And I have not packed the goodie bags. Luckily the girls helped me out. I also left the displaying of the food to those still at home and it was not to what I expected. But what can I say, it was bad management on my side anyway.

Fortunately, the rest of the party went on without a glitch. Little girl was happy with the strawberry shortcake theme. She told me next year she want Winx, then changed her mind and said Barney. Ah well, we’ll talk about it next year, sweetie.

Her school’s party was held the next day. Same theme. This year, she celebrated with the whole Nursery level. There were a total of 46 nursery kids, including Tara, and they were divided into 4 different small classes. The teachers told me I can choose to just celebrate with 2 of the classes or all of them. I chose to have the party with all the kids. Some of them were Tara’s friends from playgroup so I wouldn’t want them to miss her party.

I had a big headache getting the stuff for the kid’s goodie bag. I had to keep the budget for each bag to about $1.50, quite a bummer but no choice. The cake itself already cost almost a hundred. And this year, I bought home-made cookies from Cookie Culture. They were really nice people, and willing to pack smaller packs of biscuits so I can work within my budget. It’s much easier for me to get small packs of tidbits and snacks from the shops but I really didn’t want the kids to stuff themselves with junk food. 85 cents per pack. The stickers and stationery items cost about 50 cents.

Tom and Jerry bags for the boys, Strawberry Shortcake ones for the girls.

Tara helped to pack the goodie bags after her home party. Even though she was really tired, she insisted on packing the bags.

2.5kg Strawberry Shortcake from Prima Deli.

Even though 1/4 of the Nursery level didn’t turn up on that day, the kids still managed to finish most of the cake. And quite a few of them came back for 2nd and 3rd servings.

Tara giving out the goodie bags.

The cake from Prima Deli was delicious! I will definitely order from them next year, if they have the cake that Tara wanted.

This is not the last cake that Tara had cut for her birthday. Bro held his wedding on Tara’s birthday and he got the hotel to give her a complimentary cake, and we celebrated in Bro’s hotel suite after the wedding banquet.

I will post this up once I got the photos from Bob. Lucky girl. 3 birthday celebrations in 3 days.

Princess has fever..

Tara has been getting on-off fevers since last week. Sent her to my mum’s place for 2 days. She went back to day care for one day and came back with a fever again at night.

And on Monday, the fever came back again, a low grade one though. Mum had to come to my place to take care of Tara since my little baby nephew also caught a fever and admitted to hospital over the weekend and she didn’t want them to be near each other. Fortunately my sis is still on maternity leave and can look after her baby prince.

And since yesterday, the fever just kept shooting sky high, was 39 when i was at work and 40 at 1am last night. I gave her bufen before I zonked off. Little girl woke me up at 6am in the morning asking for med, saying she was very uncomfortable and asked to be sponged. Wow, imagine that, she asked to be sponged and fed her med! I kind of felt I’m not doing my job, you know. Her temperature was at 40.2 despite the bufen so I sponged her for 40 mins till the temp went below 38.5. Then I tried to catch a bit more sleep before I go to work.

Something that got me really worried was her actions. I will expect her to be lethargic and drowsy when I wake her up for med, but this little girl, actually start talking, in a tired-but-trying-to-be-alert way and saying a lot of things that actually make sense. Kind of scary.

Just hope her fever goes away soon. I’m not usually a pantang person but sometimes I just have to admit it’s better to keep my mouth shut. Just last week before Tara had her fever, I spoke to my manager about her and saying Tara is okay in day care already, seldom fall sick and see what happens? Me and my big mouth…